Should I let my husband marry another woman and be part of polygamy?

 

It was afternoon, and my husband had just finished working when I ran to him and asked him if he could marry my friend. His eyes widened in shock. It might be surprising to you—why would I run and ask my husband with haste? To make a long story short, I was scrolling on Facebook when I saw my friend's post that seemed so sad. She has been divorced twice, and I don’t want to see her sad anymore. I can’t take seeing her miserable. My husband is a good man, and I know that he can be a good husband who will love you with kindness and generosity and lead you to be a good Muslim who will please Allah.

But with all this intention, there are also women who would disagree with their husband marrying another woman. And will find many excuses or drama to stop their husband. Some will be like an ulama laying all the fatwas and will have their own explanation and interpretation of the Quran and hadith. Some are knowledgeable but will let their emotions cloud their minds. And some will disagree because they are afraid to share the wealth of their husband or will say,

‘My husband is not earning enough; he can’t marry another one.’

‘If he marries another one, she will only take everything! ’

‘I can’t let anyone benefit from all my sacrifices!’

 Uh-oh! Please, if this comes to your mind, you have to evaluate yourself then. And remind yourself that Allah is the Provider and Most Generous, and if you do righteous acts and are steadfast, he will surely provide for you.

 

And enjoin prayer upon your family and people, and be steadfast therein. We ask you not for provision; We provide for you, and the best outcome is for those in righteousness.

Quran Taa-haa:132

 

Indeed, your Lord extends provision to whom He wills and restricts it. Indeed, He is ever, concerning his servants, acquainted and seeing.

Al-Israa:30

 

And with the statement about your sacrifices, sister, may Allah reward you for all of that. But you have to remember this verse from the Quran;

What comes to you of good is from Allah, but what comes to you evil, is from yourself…

An-Nisaa:79

 

As we all know, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, had a lot of wives, and may Allah be pleased with them. He married the widow, divorcee, and daughter of the leaders of tribes. One of the widows and a daughter of the Quraishi chieftain that he married was Umm Habibah Ramlah bint Abu Sufyan.

She is intelligent, beautiful, and well-educated. She was married once to Ubaidullah, who was a heavy drinker and died as a disbeliever. His death was a relief to Umm Habibah, but she is also worried about her survival now that she is a widow with children to feed. Sister, many of our sisters are in this situation, and we might come to this situation too if it is Allah’s decree. Think about it: don’t you want someone who will be there to accept you? Love you as her sister? and consider the orphans who have also lost their fathers.

 

I want you to take a deep breath and imagine this: there’s a woman in front of you holding a little baby, this little child who is covered in blanket, smiling, waving his little soft hands, and so innocent. He lost his father before he was even born. And this baby is the prophet Muhammad. What are you going to do? Will you withhold him a chance to grow up with a father? Will you let the little Muhammad be sad and think that he could have a father if you only agreed?

Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but true righteousness is in one who believes in Allah, the Last Day, the angels, the book, and the prophets and gives wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask for help, and for freeing slaves; and who establishes prayer and gives zakah; those who fulfill their promise when they promise; and those who are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous.

Al-Baqara:177

 

 

Today, polygamy in our religion has become controversial, a hot topic and being frowned because men are mostly marrying young and single women. And if that’s the case for men, how about us women? How about us acting out with greed and not following the wives of the prophet Muhammad, who accepted their co-wives. These are the women who were given the good news of Paradise; don’t you want to be resurrected with them?

Nevertheless, whatever situation you are in, if your husband wants to marry another woman, even though it will hurt, you have to learn to accept it, be patient, and develop contentment in your heart. And pray to Allah to give you strength and put love between you and your co-wife.

 

Allah does not burden any soul greater than it can bear…

Al-Baqarah 2:286

 

I want to end this article with the quote from ‘Marriage is Sunnah.

 

‘The only way to stop the pain in your life is to accept the fact that nothing is yours, nothing was yours, and nothing will ever be yours. They are worldly attachments. Everything is given by Allah; it belongs to Allah and will return to Allah.’

 

I ask Allah the Glorious, the Mighty, by His beautiful Names and attributes, to accept this as having been done sincerely for His sake alone. I ask Him to bring me its benefits during my lifetime and after my death. May those who read it and those who share it also benefit from it. Surely, He, the Glorified, is Capable of all things. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and companions, and whoever follows them in piety until the Day of Judgement.

 

 

 

 

Let me know what you think in the comment section or e-mail me at hayatalmuslima@gmail.com.

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Assalamualaykum =)