I never thought I would be the mother
of a boy who is brave to protect his imaginary baby, loves to cuddle with the
cat, and will spread cookies on the floor because he wants to feed the ants.
Every morning, he walks with me to the market and greets everyone; he is a
peacemaker between his friends, he loves to say thank you and say Insha'Allah
when he wants to go to a toy shop.
Day by day, my son is growing and
learning to ask questions like, "What is that and then?", “Do you
hear that? "And why I can’t let him do things, why he can’t listen to
music, or why I can’t let him watch Halloween videos, I always try to answer
his questions, fill his curiosity, and explain things. Incredibly, two years
old can comprehend and can be patient. Since then, I have learned that I cannot
underestimate him, I cannot think that he is just a kid that will not
understand, and I cannot stay quiet and say nothing.
I was afraid that at such
a young age, my son would be gloomy because he has to live a life where there
is a lot of refusal and ruling out. But
what I fear the most is that I might not be able to raise him to become salih
and muslih. In this time with great fitnah, how will I bring him up?
Allah the Almighty said,
"And know
that your possessions and children are but trials, and that surely with Allah
is a mighty reward." [1]
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon
him) said:
"Children
are the cause of grief, cowardice, ignorance, and miserliness." [2]
In his book ‘Weakness of Faith’ Sheik
Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid explained this hadeeth:
When the prophet
Muhammad said that they are the cause of miserliness, he meant that if a man
wants to spend for the sake of Allah, the Shaytan reminds him of his children,
so he thinks, "My children deserve the money; I will leave it for them
when I die," so he is miserly in the sense that he refrains from spending
it for the sake of Allah.
When he said that
children are the cause of cowardliness, he meant that when a man wants to fight
in Jihaad for the sake of Allah, the Shaytan comes to him and says: "You
will be killed and will die, and your children will become orphans, lost, and
alone," so he stays home and does not go out for Jihaad.
When he said that
children are the cause of ignorance, he meant that they distract a father from
seeking knowledge and trying to acquire it by attending gatherings and reading
books.
When he said that
children are the cause of grief, he meant that when a child gets sick, the
parents feel grief; if the child asks for something that the father cannot
provide, this grieves the father; and if the child grows up and rebels against
his father, this is a cause of ongoing grief and distress.
Truly, we have become slaves by grief
because we can’t even forbid our children to imitate the culture of the west,
taking the matter of makrooh (what is disliked) lightly because we are simply
afraid that they might rebel against us.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
said:
"Whoever
falls into doubtful matters falls into Haram, like a shepherd who grazes his
flock around a place where he is not allowed—he will soon enter it." [3]
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
said:
"Whoever
among you sees an evil action, let him change it by his hand [by action], and
if he cannot, then by his tongue [by speaking out], and if he cannot, then by
his heart [by feeling that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of
faith." [4]
But what are we doing? We let evil
enter our home.
The prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"Whoever
introduces a good deed in Islam, he will get rewarded along with the reward
granted to anyone who does it after him without reducing the reward of the doer
himself. And anyone who introduces a bad deed in Islam, he bears its burden and
the burden of anyone who does it after him without reducing anything from the
doer’s sin." [5]
Qabil (Cain),
Prophet Adam’s son, was the first to introduce killing to the face of this
earth when he killed his brother Habil (Abel). Consequently, people of that
time learned to murder others from Qabil (Cain). His recompense is the burden
of all executions that will happen until the Day of Judgement. He earned a
stiff penalty for teaching humanity to kill. He bears that burden because he
was the first person to kill, hence introducing the obnoxious sin of killing to
humanity.
This is why the Prophet (peace be upon
him) said in the narration reported by Abdullah ibn Masud, who said that the
Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"No soul is
wrongfully killed, but some responsibility for its blood is upon the first son
of Adam, for he was the first to set the precedent of murder. [6]
Pondering all these hadeeths and verse
from the Quran, I cannot be negligent with my son about the truth and correct
way of life.
My son always surprises me, especially
with his social skills, even though he was born in the year of isolation
(pandemic). He is growing up with immense patience, discipline and obedience.
Though he is still young, we have
already taught him three sharia rules which are shirk, music, and kaffir
holidays. And he never broods with all these prohibitions, and he becomes
disciplined and a reformer, telling other kids that music is haram and he is
decisive to stop them.
My brothers and sisters in Islam, we
can speak to our kids, explain things to them, and prohibit them from doing
what Allah has forbidden us to do. Tell them that haram is simply wrong, and if
we don’t educate them as early in their childhood and remain silent sooner or
later, haram will consume them, and only regrets will be left. Teach them what
is most important, and that is our religion. Never be hesitant or afraid to do
so, for Allah is the one who is commanding them through you.
Live as if you’re not going to live
until tomorrow, stay away from what Allah has forbidden, and encourage everyone
to do good deeds. Remind ourselves that the enjoyment in this world is a test
for us, and the hereafter is better. And the promise of Allah is true.
[1] Quran 8:28
[2] reported by At-Tabaraani in
Al-Kabeer, 24/241; Saheeh al Jaami’, 1990
[3] reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim;
this version narrated by Muslim, no. 1599
[4] reported by Al-Bukhari, Fat-h
1/51
[5] Sahih Muslim
[6] Sahih Al Bukhari
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