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Children are trials

 


I never thought I would be the mother of a boy who is brave to protect his imaginary baby, loves to cuddle with the cat, and will spread cookies on the floor because he wants to feed the ants. Every morning, he walks with me to the market and greets everyone; he is a peacemaker between his friends, he loves to say thank you and say Insha'Allah when he wants to go to a toy shop.

Day by day, my son is growing and learning to ask questions like, "What is that and then?", “Do you hear that? "And why I can’t let him do things, why he can’t listen to music, or why I can’t let him watch Halloween videos, I always try to answer his questions, fill his curiosity, and explain things. Incredibly, two years old can comprehend and can be patient. Since then, I have learned that I cannot underestimate him, I cannot think that he is just a kid that will not understand, and I cannot stay quiet and say nothing.

I was afraid that at such a young age, my son would be gloomy because he has to live a life where there is a lot of refusal and ruling out. But what I fear the most is that I might not be able to raise him to become salih and muslih. In this time with great fitnah, how will I bring him up?

Allah the Almighty said,

"And know that your possessions and children are but trials, and that surely with Allah is a mighty reward." [1]

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

"Children are the cause of grief, cowardice, ignorance, and miserliness." [2]

In his book ‘Weakness of Faith’ Sheik Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid explained this hadeeth:

When the prophet Muhammad said that they are the cause of miserliness, he meant that if a man wants to spend for the sake of Allah, the Shaytan reminds him of his children, so he thinks, "My children deserve the money; I will leave it for them when I die," so he is miserly in the sense that he refrains from spending it for the sake of Allah.

When he said that children are the cause of cowardliness, he meant that when a man wants to fight in Jihaad for the sake of Allah, the Shaytan comes to him and says: "You will be killed and will die, and your children will become orphans, lost, and alone," so he stays home and does not go out for Jihaad.

When he said that children are the cause of ignorance, he meant that they distract a father from seeking knowledge and trying to acquire it by attending gatherings and reading books.

When he said that children are the cause of grief, he meant that when a child gets sick, the parents feel grief; if the child asks for something that the father cannot provide, this grieves the father; and if the child grows up and rebels against his father, this is a cause of ongoing grief and distress.

 

Truly, we have become slaves by grief because we can’t even forbid our children to imitate the culture of the west, taking the matter of makrooh (what is disliked) lightly because we are simply afraid that they might rebel against us.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

"Whoever falls into doubtful matters falls into Haram, like a shepherd who grazes his flock around a place where he is not allowed—he will soon enter it." [3]

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

"Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it by his hand [by action], and if he cannot, then by his tongue [by speaking out], and if he cannot, then by his heart [by feeling that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of faith." [4]

But what are we doing? We let evil enter our home.

The prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"Whoever introduces a good deed in Islam, he will get rewarded along with the reward granted to anyone who does it after him without reducing the reward of the doer himself. And anyone who introduces a bad deed in Islam, he bears its burden and the burden of anyone who does it after him without reducing anything from the doer’s sin." [5]

Qabil (Cain), Prophet Adam’s son, was the first to introduce killing to the face of this earth when he killed his brother Habil (Abel). Consequently, people of that time learned to murder others from Qabil (Cain). His recompense is the burden of all executions that will happen until the Day of Judgement. He earned a stiff penalty for teaching humanity to kill. He bears that burden because he was the first person to kill, hence introducing the obnoxious sin of killing to humanity.

 

This is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said in the narration reported by Abdullah ibn Masud, who said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"No soul is wrongfully killed, but some responsibility for its blood is upon the first son of Adam, for he was the first to set the precedent of murder. [6]

 

 

Pondering all these hadeeths and verse from the Quran, I cannot be negligent with my son about the truth and correct way of life.

My son always surprises me, especially with his social skills, even though he was born in the year of isolation (pandemic). He is growing up with immense patience, discipline and obedience.

Though he is still young, we have already taught him three sharia rules which are shirk, music, and kaffir holidays. And he never broods with all these prohibitions, and he becomes disciplined and a reformer, telling other kids that music is haram and he is decisive to stop them.

My brothers and sisters in Islam, we can speak to our kids, explain things to them, and prohibit them from doing what Allah has forbidden us to do. Tell them that haram is simply wrong, and if we don’t educate them as early in their childhood and remain silent sooner or later, haram will consume them, and only regrets will be left. Teach them what is most important, and that is our religion. Never be hesitant or afraid to do so, for Allah is the one who is commanding them through you.

Live as if you’re not going to live until tomorrow, stay away from what Allah has forbidden, and encourage everyone to do good deeds. Remind ourselves that the enjoyment in this world is a test for us, and the hereafter is better. And the promise of Allah is true.

 

 

 Reference:

[1] Quran 8:28

[2] reported by At-Tabaraani in Al-Kabeer, 24/241; Saheeh al Jaami’, 1990

[3] reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim; this version narrated by Muslim, no. 1599

[4] reported by Al-Bukhari, Fat-h 1/51

[5] Sahih Muslim

[6] Sahih Al Bukhari

 


More on this blog :

Allah is sufficient

Youtube channels for muslim kids

Sincere advice for muslima on getting married.

10 things I do to increase my Faith (Iman)

Fear is a type of worship.

Reliance is a type of worship.

Who are you without hijab?

How much Mahr (dowry) should I ask?



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